Fatties are delusional

I read a lot of personal ads. A lot. In fact, I read all of the ones published on Craigslist. Call it morbid curiosity, but it passes the time when I'm at work with nothing to do. Why are fat women so delusional about their bodies? Typically, they will not post a picture, but you can spot their hideously obese forms from a mile away due to the language they use.

1) Any mention of "loving their body" will be followed by "I love to workout". Well, if you love your body so much, why bother working out? Every single one of these fatasses just loooooooooooooooves going to the gym, and yet, they enjoy being fat. I won't even try to contemplate the idiotic reasoning behind such ridiculousness.

2) "I'm 5'1" and 200 pounds. I'm not fat, I'm curvy." In what fucking universe is a 5'1" woman not fat at 200 pounds? That sentence was pulled from an actual ad, by the way. Also, "curvy". Marilyn Monroe was curvy, a 200 pound woman is spherical. Get it fucking right.

3) Any mention of cats = insane as hell. Nothing to do with fat, just thought I'd throw that in there.

4) Some of the more honest fat women will call themselves BBWs. This is supposed to mean "Big Beautiful Woman", but I have yet to see any beauty in the faces of these beasts. First of all, fat is inherently unattractive. Ask any girl if they'd rather look like Rosie O'Donnell or Angelina Jolie. Secondly, BBW doesn't mean fat, it means big. Big can imply height, and doesn't always mean girth. BBW just means fat as fuck today, however.

5) Always something about preferring tall, thin guys. Yep. They get to be fat as fuck and you have to be in shape. My guess is they want more meat on their prey when they smother then devour it.

6) "Not looking for sex." Never any sex. Never. Fatties seem to think that desiring sex is a horrid thing. Well, I can safely say that I'd never want to fuck any of these monsters, so maybe they're just preemptively acknowledging that fact.

7) Most of them have kids. And are old. That's a winning combination, right up there with no sex.

There is no 8. (Piss-poor pun, yeah)

9) "Looking for a REAL man". To fatties, being a REAL man means you don't want sex, you like financing a Subway sandwich addiction and you truly enjoy being despised and detested 24 hours a day. Oh, and you have to love fat chicks and their fat fucking friends.

The real conclusion I've come to is that attractive women do not use the internet nor place personal ads as they have no real need to do so. Hence, all personal ads are placed by fat women. You can easily see this for yourself by just asking how fat they are. You'll either get a venom-filled rant or something like "WTF are you talking about!??!!?" Typically the response will be full of grammatical and spelling errors, proving that fatties are not only disgusting but uneducated morons.