Fat Acceptance?

I feel like a broken record. Every day, it seems, I bitch about fatties, yet their numbers are legion and ever increasing. Well, that's fine, whatever, I don't care. Fatties exist and they grow larger by number and girth. As long as I don't have to deal with them, we can co-exist. Perhaps not peacefully, but I'll stay out of their way at the buffet line and they can kindly not show up to my favorite bars and request free drinks.

Now, however, the fatties have broken the uneasy truce with the Digital Barbarian, and his axe will fall soundly and cleave a ham sandwich from fat fucking fingers. It was brought to my attention that an organization exists called the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance (NAAFA) and they even have their very own website, filled with meaningless bullshit. What, Sven, are you kidding? Surely you are not serious. No, goddammit, I am 100% serious and thus the rage has increased beyond reproach. See, it's one thing to say that being fat sucks and you don't like being made fun of; I get it. I was a little portly as a kid and got called all sorts of names. It didn't help that I also wore glasses and was somewhat of a nerd. Eventually, though, I discovered that being intelligent was an asset, contacts were easy to wear and playing sports could eliminate the belly. So, yes, being bullied sucks, but guess what? It just made me a better person. All those fucks who made fun of me are probably washing cars somewhere with massive beer bellies, living in a trailer park. Fuck 'em, I did better BECAUSE of the abuse, I didn't crawl into a fucking hole and whine about how I was being pushed around. As an aside, I did get into fights with the neighborhood kids from time to time, and won quite a few, so even back then I was well versed in defending myself from assholes. Alright, my life story aside, why do these fat fucks need some sort of "acceptance" for their obvious problems? Being fat is a problem, it's not something that is physiologically viable. Is alcoholism viable? No, which is why AA exists. Obesity is a major problem in this country, and this NAAFA sort of bullshit simply wants to perpetuate the problem as if it is social, not physical.

Fat people are discriminated against in all aspects of daily life, from employment to education to access to public accommodations, and even access to adequate medical care. This discrimination occurs despite evidence that 95 to 98 percent of diets fail over five years and that 65 million Americans are labeled “obese.” Our thin-obsessed society firmly believes that fat people are at fault for their size and it is politically correct to stigmatize and ridicule them. Fat discrimination is one of the last publicly accepted discriminatory practices. Fat people have rights and they need to be upheld!

That little gem is from the website. How fucking asinine is that? Rhetorical question, but I'll tell you: it's like making a sequel to Baby Geniuses. So fucking stupid you cannot even contemplate it, yet it exists. Let's dissect this statement and ignore the rest of the website, mostly because I got so pissed reading the first couple pages I couldn't finish.

Fat people are discriminated against
Yep. Get the fuck over it. Everyone is discriminated against in some capacity, learn to deal with that fact and stop whining like a stupid fuck. The real problem here is that the discrimination is implied to be unwarranted. How so? Shouldn't insurance companies be discriminatory toward individuals who are higher risk? How the hell can these idiots possibly convince me that, in light of the countless medical studies, being obese isn't a medical problem? What the fuck ever. If I was selling doughnuts, you can bet your ass I'd discriminate against skinny people and target the fatties as customers. It's just good business. As an aside, I remember an anecdote about a woman being charged for two seats on an airplane because she literally took up two seats. She said that was discrimination as she was fat. Well, sorry, airlines make money per asses in seats, and if your fucking ass takes up two seats, then you need to pay double.

95 to 98 percent of diets fail over five years
"Diets". Alright, that's compelling. The people who go on "diets" are the same people who are fat. Diets take self control and fatties obviously have none in the first place. What makes them think they can stick to a diet? A lot of these diets are unrealistic, sure, but some of the more ridiculous ones consist of eating 1200 calories a day and avoiding sugar. Wow, that's so horrid!

65 million Americans are labeled “obese.”
This number is alarming, first of all, but I'm wondering what their point is. Are 65 million Americans simply mislabeled as being obese? No, see, they actually are fat as fuck. Just because a lot of people are fucking fat and unhealthy doesn't mean it's good. This is called appeal to common practice, and is a stupid fucking fallacy idiots use when they don't understand logic. Apparently fatties have no capability to use logic and instead must justify their fatness in whatever method they can.

Our thin-obsessed society
Seriously, who the fuck likes fat women? I'm sure there are a few dudes who are into fat chicks, and there are also dudes into donkey fucking and burning themselves with candle wax to get off. I was in Europe not long ago, and guess what? There aren't any fat people over there. Are Eurotards "thin-obsessed"? No, they are simply normal. Being fat as hell isn't normal, get the fuck over it.

fat people are at fault for their size
Wait, when did we have state-mandated eating? Are you required to eat, fatty? Last time I checked, if caloric intake was higher than caloric usage, you got fat. So, basically, math is biased against fatties. I suppose this can be lumped in with discrimination, but in this case it's the laws of physics instead of an individual doing it.

politically correct to stigmatize and ridicule them
I'm never one to promote political correctness, but if this was the case, then yeah, sounds great to me. In fact, it's exactly the opposite and fatties are now fucking revered as demigods. 100% true, watch any talkshow or Oprah or whatever.

Fat discrimination is one of the last publicly accepted discriminatory practices.
Oh, except, you know, against everyone...for anything. Are these fucking people living in the same world I am?

Fat people have rights and they need to be upheld!
Okay, so I have been holding back, but now the venom shall spew. What FUCKING RIGHTS are being fucking violated? Name one fucking right. The right not to have people be disgusted by your fat fucking ass? The right to eat as much as you want and balloon to epic proportions and then bitch about not being able to find your size in a bikini? The right to low insurance rates even though you're 5 times more likely to suffer from a heart attack? The right to literally consume more resources than is reasonable for two people, combined? How the fuck is fattyism justified in this day and age of economic recession and consumer awareness, i.e. trying to be "green"? How the fuck are fatties helping the environment by using more food, water and electricity than anyone else? Fuck you, fucking fat fucks. Seriously, fuck you. You do not have "thyroid" conditions. Thyroid problems don't have any fucking thing to do with doughnut consumption. Start taking responsibility for being social rejects because of your own personal issues. If you don't want to be bullied or discriminated against, why not DO something about it like stop eating and perhaps work out? Just like all fatty excuses, I already know what this one will be, and it will be predicated upon the idea that other people should accommodate some stupid fuck simply because they have no self-control or self-worth.

In closing, fuck fatties and their fat ideas.